Thursday 25th March

March 25, 2010

Today’s been difficult….. things seemed fine for a while, then without warning it all changed. Maybe its the environment that i’m in, i’m really not that sure. All I know is that I want to escape, its like being on auto pilot. I can look like me, I can even sound like me, but it not really me. It a false projection of me. When it happens I don’t want to be around anyone. I feel no connection to anyone or anything, i’m simply feel empty with a deep resentment of self.

I used to try so hard to push it away, to blank it out, to escape myself by consuming cocktails of drinks and drugs. There was no consequence to this, I didn’t care what happened at all. It would be so easy to do this right now, but I wont. Im now attempting to face this part of me, to understand what it is and to simply write how I feel.

Thats all I can write right now.

Peace & love


Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: