Thursday 25th March

March 25, 2010

Today’s been difficult….. things seemed fine for a while, then without warning it all changed. Maybe its the environment that i’m in, i’m really not that sure. All I know is that I want to escape, its like being on auto pilot. I can look like me, I can even sound like me, but it not really me. It a false projection of me. When it happens I don’t want to be around anyone. I feel no connection to anyone or anything, i’m simply feel empty with a deep resentment of self.

I used to try so hard to push it away, to blank it out, to escape myself by consuming cocktails of drinks and drugs. There was no consequence to this, I didn’t care what happened at all. It would be so easy to do this right now, but I wont. Im now attempting to face this part of me, to understand what it is and to simply write how I feel.

Thats all I can write right now.

Peace & love


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