June 21, 2010

Well my flights are all booked, and my leave date is set (16/07/10)… I’ve been spending the week completing DIY on my flat. Its been great, as my friends have all been over to help, and its been nice to spend time with them.

I guess the flat is the last thing tying me here, but the truth is it means nothing too me. I could quite happily just walk out and leave it, I’ve contemplated it a few times. The reason I haven’t though, is because I know that it doesn’t matter if I sell the flat or not, thats not whats important, whats important, is that I do everything I can to remove the physical ties to the life that I used to have. I wish to leave this society as a free human, to experience the world with an open mind, without prejudice, with love and compassion, to enable me to discover who I really am.

Its easy to follow others through life, too follow yourself is the real challenge.

Life is a breath, now i’m awake, I wish to fill my lungs.

peace & love




June 17, 2010

I’ve been pondering the meaning of reality for some time now, try to think of a way I could articulate the way I perceive it.

Reality is the projection of consciousness viewing reality from a subjective perspective.

peace & love

Mixed feelings

June 16, 2010

So, all the flights are booked for a one way journey, my last day in the UK being the 16th July 2010.

Everything I love and know is here, yet I need to be away from it all. I really wish I understood why I feel like this, why I have to leave everything I know behind.

Its not even like its a difficult choice… All I can do is follow myself, where ever that leads me to.

It makes me feel sad when I think about all of the time I’ve wasted, wrapped up in my egotistical world, while others don’t even have fresh water, food or even get to feel love, compassion or just a bit of kindness.

I can’t say I’ve done anything significant in this world, I’ve done nothing to be proud of at all, but every day is another day to turn it all around.

I can only hope that one day my son will choose to find-out who his father was. If he does , then I hope that the actions I take now will speak louder than I ever could. We are not remembered for how we perceive ourselves, we are remembered by how we live our lives, in the actions we take, and in the memories of others. Life is never about self, its about selfless….. (I will always love you Ethan)

peace & love