Mixed feelings

June 16, 2010

So, all the flights are booked for a one way journey, my last day in the UK being the 16th July 2010.

Everything I love and know is here, yet I need to be away from it all. I really wish I understood why I feel like this, why I have to leave everything I know behind.

Its not even like its a difficult choice… All I can do is follow myself, where ever that leads me to.

It makes me feel sad when I think about all of the time I’ve wasted, wrapped up in my egotistical world, while others don’t even have fresh water, food or even get to feel love, compassion or just a bit of kindness.

I can’t say I’ve done anything significant in this world, I’ve done nothing to be proud of at all, but every day is another day to turn it all around.

I can only hope that one day my son will choose to find-out who his father was. If he does , then I hope that the actions I take now will speak louder than I ever could. We are not remembered for how we perceive ourselves, we are remembered by how we live our lives, in the actions we take, and in the memories of others. Life is never about self, its about selfless….. (I will always love you Ethan)

peace & love

dx


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